Three Questions #1 Ronald Rubbottom, Indie Filmmaker
Q: Ronald, I see from your IMDB page that you’ve done a lot of work as an indie filmmaker, but all of it is obscure or completely off the radar. Was that intentional, or are you just untalented?
A: Thanks for the question. No it wasn’t intentional, I’ve worked so hard for so long. Plus I’ve won awards at small festivals and have been lauded in my community so I don’t think I’m untalented.
What I do think is that the Independent-Film-This-Is-How-You-Can-Make-It-Industrial-Complex often hides a key fact in “making it” in this business: namely, that you have to 1. Have a genuine connection with somebody who is actually in the business (ie. a relative, a parent, a friend etc) or 2. You have to be lucky.
If what you’re really asking is “Why haven’t you made it yet?” I’d refer you to the aforementioned One True Fact.
Q: I recently talked to your therapist and she said, “Ronald is so depressed. I’m worried about him.” Can you explain?
A: Yeah, this is a tough time for filmmakers and that goes double for truly indie filmmakers.
I dedicated my life to this art form, to telling stories that matter. And finally I get to a stage where I’ve mastered the art form and I can’t move the needle. I can’t get my project off the ground. I’ve tried so hard but I don’t know what to do anymore.
Of course, this is the business we’re in — it’s supposed to be tough. I get that. But this time feels different. Something profound has changed. I’ve exhausted all of my tools and all of my contacts and all of my money. I don’t know what to do to keep this endeavor going anymore. And so I ask myself: Is that it? Am I done as a filmmaker? Say it aint so, but I’m just so tired of endlessly trying to make it work. Where is genuine help to be found?
Q: What new ideas are you working with these days?
A: I’ve recently become fascinated by the idea of “inferiority” and being made to feel inferior. What happens to a person or a people who chronically feel inferior?
I don’t know about you, but I spend a large part of most of my days feeling inferior in so many different ways. Of course I try to repress those feelings but I’m telling you, they’re there. Just about everywhere I look I’m made to feel inferior: by how I look, what I drive, where I live, what I consume, and what movie I did or did not make. (And please don’t tell me that nobody can “make” you feel inferior because that’s just B.S.).
As a filmmaker, the feeling of inferiority is pervasive and constant. Even something as simple as seeing an ad for a movie that’s touted as a Winner at Sundance and a friend saying, “Hey didn’t you apply to Sundance this year?”
Hello Inferiority.
Also what if, unintentionally, the Independent-Film-This-Is-How-You-Can-Make-It-Industrial-Complex is making large swaths of indie filmmakers feel way inferior by constantly holding up those gifted individuals who have made it? Of course this is a cultural thing to do — we elevate models of excellence, right? And we should applaud them. Yay for them and all the great work they’re doing!
But I also wonder how much this drives indie filmmakers to feel inferior. Compared to these elevated folks, I often feel low and small. Sigh. So I just wonder.
Okay. Point taken. I'd love to celebrate the Rubbottoms of our community. This is a new feature I've just launched (5 Questions) and it happens to be Awards season so I can get some "stars" to contribute, and help build the following. But YES by all means I want to highlight a wide range. But I am just getting started.
And by all means, I don't want to contribute to the "inferiority complex". I myself don't make work that is as popular to many of the producers I know. I struggle to get things made -- and I have it easy compared to the Ronalds. I appreciate what I can get done. And I try to share my learnings. And make it better than I found it. The festival hierarchy is a huge contributor to that IC virus, but there are definite workarounds. I have been trying to help others see them too. We will keep trying. All of us this is ongoing and please tell RR that keeping on keeping on is critical to find the crack where the light shines in. It will get better.
Thanks for your comment, Ted. If I see Ronald I'll pass along your thoughts to them. I think your Substack is a genuine gift to the indie film community and a rare one at that. Here's hoping we all find that crack, and soon.
Three Questions #1 Ronald Rubbottom, Indie Filmmaker
Q: Ronald, I see from your IMDB page that you’ve done a lot of work as an indie filmmaker, but all of it is obscure or completely off the radar. Was that intentional, or are you just untalented?
A: Thanks for the question. No it wasn’t intentional, I’ve worked so hard for so long. Plus I’ve won awards at small festivals and have been lauded in my community so I don’t think I’m untalented.
What I do think is that the Independent-Film-This-Is-How-You-Can-Make-It-Industrial-Complex often hides a key fact in “making it” in this business: namely, that you have to 1. Have a genuine connection with somebody who is actually in the business (ie. a relative, a parent, a friend etc) or 2. You have to be lucky.
If what you’re really asking is “Why haven’t you made it yet?” I’d refer you to the aforementioned One True Fact.
Q: I recently talked to your therapist and she said, “Ronald is so depressed. I’m worried about him.” Can you explain?
A: Yeah, this is a tough time for filmmakers and that goes double for truly indie filmmakers.
I dedicated my life to this art form, to telling stories that matter. And finally I get to a stage where I’ve mastered the art form and I can’t move the needle. I can’t get my project off the ground. I’ve tried so hard but I don’t know what to do anymore.
Of course, this is the business we’re in — it’s supposed to be tough. I get that. But this time feels different. Something profound has changed. I’ve exhausted all of my tools and all of my contacts and all of my money. I don’t know what to do to keep this endeavor going anymore. And so I ask myself: Is that it? Am I done as a filmmaker? Say it aint so, but I’m just so tired of endlessly trying to make it work. Where is genuine help to be found?
Q: What new ideas are you working with these days?
A: I’ve recently become fascinated by the idea of “inferiority” and being made to feel inferior. What happens to a person or a people who chronically feel inferior?
I don’t know about you, but I spend a large part of most of my days feeling inferior in so many different ways. Of course I try to repress those feelings but I’m telling you, they’re there. Just about everywhere I look I’m made to feel inferior: by how I look, what I drive, where I live, what I consume, and what movie I did or did not make. (And please don’t tell me that nobody can “make” you feel inferior because that’s just B.S.).
As a filmmaker, the feeling of inferiority is pervasive and constant. Even something as simple as seeing an ad for a movie that’s touted as a Winner at Sundance and a friend saying, “Hey didn’t you apply to Sundance this year?”
Hello Inferiority.
Also what if, unintentionally, the Independent-Film-This-Is-How-You-Can-Make-It-Industrial-Complex is making large swaths of indie filmmakers feel way inferior by constantly holding up those gifted individuals who have made it? Of course this is a cultural thing to do — we elevate models of excellence, right? And we should applaud them. Yay for them and all the great work they’re doing!
But I also wonder how much this drives indie filmmakers to feel inferior. Compared to these elevated folks, I often feel low and small. Sigh. So I just wonder.
Okay. Point taken. I'd love to celebrate the Rubbottoms of our community. This is a new feature I've just launched (5 Questions) and it happens to be Awards season so I can get some "stars" to contribute, and help build the following. But YES by all means I want to highlight a wide range. But I am just getting started.
And by all means, I don't want to contribute to the "inferiority complex". I myself don't make work that is as popular to many of the producers I know. I struggle to get things made -- and I have it easy compared to the Ronalds. I appreciate what I can get done. And I try to share my learnings. And make it better than I found it. The festival hierarchy is a huge contributor to that IC virus, but there are definite workarounds. I have been trying to help others see them too. We will keep trying. All of us this is ongoing and please tell RR that keeping on keeping on is critical to find the crack where the light shines in. It will get better.
Thanks for your comment, Ted. If I see Ronald I'll pass along your thoughts to them. I think your Substack is a genuine gift to the indie film community and a rare one at that. Here's hoping we all find that crack, and soon.
Truly one of my favorite people in the business. And I loved CASSANDRO. MAy be my favorite narrative feature from last year's Sundance.