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James Lantz's avatar

Three Questions #1 Ronald Rubbottom, Indie Filmmaker

Q: Ronald, I see from your IMDB page that you’ve done a lot of work as an indie filmmaker, but all of it is obscure or completely off the radar. Was that intentional, or are you just untalented?

A: Thanks for the question. No it wasn’t intentional, I’ve worked so hard for so long. Plus I’ve won awards at small festivals and have been lauded in my community so I don’t think I’m untalented.

What I do think is that the Independent-Film-This-Is-How-You-Can-Make-It-Industrial-Complex often hides a key fact in “making it” in this business: namely, that you have to 1. Have a genuine connection with somebody who is actually in the business (ie. a relative, a parent, a friend etc) or 2. You have to be lucky.

If what you’re really asking is “Why haven’t you made it yet?” I’d refer you to the aforementioned One True Fact.

Q: I recently talked to your therapist and she said, “Ronald is so depressed. I’m worried about him.” Can you explain?

A: Yeah, this is a tough time for filmmakers and that goes double for truly indie filmmakers.

I dedicated my life to this art form, to telling stories that matter. And finally I get to a stage where I’ve mastered the art form and I can’t move the needle. I can’t get my project off the ground. I’ve tried so hard but I don’t know what to do anymore.

Of course, this is the business we’re in — it’s supposed to be tough. I get that. But this time feels different. Something profound has changed. I’ve exhausted all of my tools and all of my contacts and all of my money. I don’t know what to do to keep this endeavor going anymore. And so I ask myself: Is that it? Am I done as a filmmaker? Say it aint so, but I’m just so tired of endlessly trying to make it work. Where is genuine help to be found?

Q: What new ideas are you working with these days?

A: I’ve recently become fascinated by the idea of “inferiority” and being made to feel inferior. What happens to a person or a people who chronically feel inferior?

I don’t know about you, but I spend a large part of most of my days feeling inferior in so many different ways. Of course I try to repress those feelings but I’m telling you, they’re there. Just about everywhere I look I’m made to feel inferior: by how I look, what I drive, where I live, what I consume, and what movie I did or did not make. (And please don’t tell me that nobody can “make” you feel inferior because that’s just B.S.).

As a filmmaker, the feeling of inferiority is pervasive and constant. Even something as simple as seeing an ad for a movie that’s touted as a Winner at Sundance and a friend saying, “Hey didn’t you apply to Sundance this year?”

Hello Inferiority.

Also what if, unintentionally, the Independent-Film-This-Is-How-You-Can-Make-It-Industrial-Complex is making large swaths of indie filmmakers feel way inferior by constantly holding up those gifted individuals who have made it? Of course this is a cultural thing to do — we elevate models of excellence, right? And we should applaud them. Yay for them and all the great work they’re doing!

But I also wonder how much this drives indie filmmakers to feel inferior. Compared to these elevated folks, I often feel low and small. Sigh. So I just wonder.

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Deirdre Haj's avatar

Truly one of my favorite people in the business. And I loved CASSANDRO. MAy be my favorite narrative feature from last year's Sundance.

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