Why do we do what we do?
The why is a question I ask myself regularly. And not because I am questioning my choice — even when sometimes it feels like the entire world is against our profession. Asking myself why helps me recognize all the ways I love what I do, and how it evolves. Capturing how my answer changes over time, and then examining what that change may represent in myself, producing in general and our situation overall helps me consider things in new ways, adapt, and hopefully improve.
This is a practice I encourage all creative workers to consider, if you don’t already. It is a practice I think you make annually, and enhance by elevating it to a ritualistic status. It could be part of your devotional efforts honoring something greater than yourself.
The how is another question altogether. What was it about you, your situation, the circumstances of the time that led to circumstance you now call your life? What were the choices involved? How could things have gone differently?
These questions really matter. We should answer them. But that’s just me, that’s how I feel — but if you feel differently, I am curious to hear why, and I hope you’ll share.
Why did I become a producer? This time around I think my answer comes down to what I would call my personal traumas, neuroses, and privileges. Words and language don’t really suffice though. At least those three concepts are the initial backdrop, the necessary preconditioning prior to the good fortune which is the real answer to both how and why.
The real reason for most good things happening is all the same: good luck. I wish it was personal responsibility, but nah. I suspect my producing career never would have happened if it wasn’t for being in the right place at the right time with the right people. The history of the world is dependent on luck, good and bad. That said, choices and character were also in the mix. And I choose to believe in free will (can’t help it!). So there’s that too. But maybe I am wrong. But I think I see how it all happened, and if I share it well, perhaps you can see how it might apply to you too. Can I tell you my story? The one that has never been told before?
Coming of age when I did, movies were the coolest art form of the time and for me, NYC was the place to be. It felt like a question of NY vs. LA and NY had Martin Scorsese and Lou Reed and CBGBs. I didn’t want to make Studio films. Fused with a DIY punk rock, political activist spirit I arrived in NYC in the early 80’s as Indie Film was starting to take off and found a cohort that included Anne Carey, Christine Vachon, Hal Hartley, Ang Lee, Nicole Holofcener, James Schamus, and many others.
We all need a cohort. We particularly need that support when we choose to make films. Perhaps even more so, when decide to produce them. Producing is a lonely profession, even if we are surrounded by others and always collaborating. Our profession is misunderstood by those both in and out of our industry.
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