What Shapes The Rocks?

Give It All Away... and you will have even more

It can be terrible to want something, or even just to think you want that something. It’s beyond reach that want. You can’t hold that want; or live it, or be it. It’s there and not leaving you alone, surrounding you, pestering you, but still at the same time, it’s not. It’s not concrete. It’s not truly present as irritating as that is. And that sucks.

Sure, desire drives us, and we get a lot done because of it, but these days I am trying much harder to not want anything -- to not even aim for more than I have (and how to appreciate just that too). I don’t even want to imagine the outcome.

It’s a bit of a workout that sometimes feels impossible to me. And I suspect others feel something similar. Like most issues I confront, I like to break it down, and examine the components.

And of course one of the reasons this is such a struggle for me, as it imprinted on me early on that there was more to life than just, just, just this. We can make it better if we try. Right?

So not wanting more, not wanting different, not wanting better — that is all a large challenge for me. I am going to try to break it down. Join me, yeah?

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The first step of limiting desire is hard enough to get right, but appreciating what we have may be even harder. Does loving this world make it work better, than say, believing we deserve something better? Would one path get us to something better than another approach? Does loving even work? If so, and if what I have is what I love, can’t I start recognizing that is all I need? That I have enough? WHY is that also still a struggle?

But what if what I have is not what I love? Isn’t that the predicament most of us find ourselves in? We gathered what we never wanted to begin with. Ha! It’s kind of another cosmic joke. We work so hard for what we don’t truly cherish, let alone even like. Were we sold a bag of lies when we were told that our hard work would give us what we want? Do we deserve a shortcut? Do we desire one? Should love be our dividing line?

Shed it or appreciate it, that’s the choice it often feels like it all comes down to, but it applies to much more than your closet or sock drawer, Miss Marie. And it is another two-step move, or maybe a little bit of what seems like an “either/or” reduction — but is actually more of the massive “both/and” solve of inclusion. Can more of the world be better considered by a complexity of aspects it holds, rather than rejected because it lacks a certain something?

Anyway, I don’t want to digress by examining the details now. I want to stay focused on the process. You know where we are on that right? That’s four steps. Four steps I use to look at the world and consider myself. Simple, right? Well, in those four steps is an aspect of myself that darts like a hummingbird within my thoughts, bringing some delight, but not easy to pause to fully ponder further. We should study that, but maybe we don’t really want to catch it in our hands anyways?

To keep it all fun though, I want you to also know that my thought routine is the opposite of how I just told it to you. The more accurate order is: