Am I A Hammer?

A consideration of loyalty (and betrayal)

sometimes when everything seems broken or fenced off, it is hared to focus

Do you dedicate yourself to the world that you want? That you’ve dreamt of? The one that could actually be possible, if a bit out of reach currently? Is there really any reason why you shouldn’t? And by that I mean, in all that you do each and every moment of the day are you trying to make things better?

Do you stay focused on what matters to you and the values you hold dear? And to the degree that you don’t or haven’t, is there any reason not to do so starting right now?

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And to be clear, I am not saying you have to always “be on”. You don’t need to treat it as a war or even a game. In fact, please don’t. You don’t need to play to win. You can have fun with it. Just play.

But why not first put the time into deciding what you love, what you value, what you enjoy, and what you’d like the world to be like,

and then

try to do what you can with what you have and what you are engaged in, to move it towards those goals?

Some may feel that this is what they want to do, but they just can’t. They can’t afford such a luxury of dedication.

I get that most of us need a job. That we need to earn money to support ourselves and our families. I hear from many that feel they compromise their values or hopes and dreams because of their employer. I think – to the degree that one can endure working for an entity that clearly has different values than you do – it is a great opportunity to influence for change.

I do believe in change from within, both personally and in terms of the large-scale corporate version. But we also have to recognize that change comes from outside too, and while we are working on them, they are working with on us. Nonetheless, there are always multiple approaches to move things while on the job, but let’s save that for another post. Today, I’d like us to ponder how important it is to stay true to our values in how we work and what we work on.

Have you had one of those days where you feel betrayed by virtually everything you encounter, at least professionally? I have.

I have had too many. Too many in a row.

Too many recently.

Too many initiated by people I have tried to help. Too many by people who claim to have values I subscribe to.

Too many by people who virtually preach one thing and then do another.

Too many by people I suspect are betraying their values and mine.

Now I also try not to forget that our perspective colors things. To the hammer, everything looks like a nail, and all that. Yeah.

And there is also the overstory -- casting shade on all that moves below. I have resisted falling for Domino Theory too, but sometimes it looks like everyone is catching the same infection, and yet we too may have the virus and remain oblivious to the fact we are the spreader and not the resistance. Once it gets started, it spreads to all those in contact with it.

Yet how can we ignore when multiple people virtually simultaneously use the “it’s just business” as their excuse for what they would otherwise call abhorrent behavior? Yeah, it’s not much of a cover up; we all see right through it. They may have betrayed me, but they are truly betraying themselves… constantly.

Why do they do it? Why are they willing to sacrifice their friends? Their art? Their faith and beliefs? Their values and principles? I think in most cases it is because they never tried to determine any of these values in the first place. They didn’t do the work they needed in advance, and they haven’t gone back to reclaim it once they got some traction. Their work does not grant them the time they need, or at least that’s what they feel. That doesn’t mean that they can’t do it now. It doesn’t mean you can’t do it now too. There’s no shame in having skipped over that step. It is not too late. It is never too late.